“Where do you want to go for dinner?”

          We were all dressed up with no place to go—and getting hungrier by the minute. One more round of “I don’t know, where do you want to eat?” and my friend and I would never make it out the door. We were in the mood for someplace special—but where?

          “How about Do or Dine?” one of us suggested. We never walk past Justin Warner’s Bed-Stuy hotspot without saying we should go, and yet we never do. Tonight was going to be the night.

          The place was warm and welcoming, a cozy refuge on a winter evening. Santeria skulls, subway tile, and a spinning disco ball screamed Brooklyn hipster, but the service couldn’t have been friendlier. Our server, adorable in her slouchy stocking cap and combat boots, asked if it was our first time and gave us a rundown of the menu’s greatest hits: nachos made with dumplings, battered deviled eggs with bacon, chicken with “woffals” (get it?), fish and chips.

          Our appetizer choices were the Nippon Nachos and Pond Wings. The “nachos” were actually dumplings covered in sour cream and two different cheeses. The “wings” were frog legs with a “spicy Dr. Pepper glaze” that I could not detect. They were slightly gamey, but otherwise fairly ordinary. We were really starving by the time we got our food so we devoured every bite, but I was more impressed with the nacho-dumplings than the frog legs.

          For entrées, my friend went with the Pork & Beans and I ordered “A Fish and Some Chips”—even though I noticed another diner gingerly picking at his before pushing it away. When mine finally arrived, I was so ravenous I didn’t care that it was staring at me balefully from beneath its crown of fish eggs.

          A whole fish—I don’t know what kind, I’m not a fisherman—sitting atop a bed of thick-cut fries might not look so appetizing, but let me tell you: I’ve never tasted anything so delicious in all my life. Of course, I have a bad memory but what I mean is, I liked it. A lot. It was splashed with yuzu-shallot vinaigrette that pooled under the fries and made me wonder why I’d ever wanted to dip a fry in ketchup.

          Meanwhile my partner in crime was rapturous over his pork, served with kimchi, black beans and pesto. He cut off a generous fatty hunk for me and I promptly decided that was the most delicious thing I’ve ever tasted in my life. I went back and forth between his plate and mine in a daze of culinary delight, trying to decide which was best.

          Eventually there was nothing but bones and a head left on my fish. I speared the head and pretended to shove it in my mouth as my friend laughed. He likes that I always clean my plate. While I was playing with my food, the eyeballs fell out and I’m pretty sure I inadvertently scooped them up with a French fry and devoured them.

          For dessert, we had a choice between the famed foie gras doughnut and what appeared to be a plain old Snickers bar, chopped up and arranged next to a few scoops of vanilla ice cream. Where’s the fun in that? I can stop by the bodega and make it later if I want.

          Sadly, the doughnut didn’t do it for me. First off, it was smaller than I expected, and second, it was disgusting. I tried, I really did. But I love a jelly doughnut, and finding foie gras in the center of my powdered sugar-dusted, yeasty fried goodness was just insulting. Gooey, meaty, stomach-turning. No thank you.

          The drinks were better. I got the Bonita Applebaum, a sweetly spicy, cinnamon-y, lemony applejack cocktail. Yum. My friend got the Spherickle Back, a play on the pickle back with a shot of whiskey and an orb of pickle juice. Not my thing, but he enjoyed it.

          Getting our coats on and glancing at the time, we saw we’d been there for three hours without even realizing it. I was worried that Do or Dine would be too much for my not-so-adventurous palate, but I loved it all (except the doughnut). There was nothing to be squeamish about—not even accidentally-consumed fish eyeballs.

1108 Bedford Avenue between Lexington and Quincy. 718 684 2290

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